Ten Ways To AVOID Your Mother.

Courtesy of: http://www.monkeypeaches.com/0406M.html
We all have crazy mothers...even William Hung!

Hello Folks,

Is your mother very annoying? Does she love you very very much and let you know it very very often? Well here is a list I have put together in case you have cracked under the pressure and would rather deal with your amazing, wonderful, loving, annoying mom on a daily basis than progress to the next level in your life and move out of your house.  (Enjoy!)

  • Move out!- Yes the most obvious and effective answer to this daily battle of wits would be to say buongiorno! to your mom and never, EVER return.
  • Tell her you love her….once in awhile.- While spoiling your mother with this phrase is not recommended, if strategically/sparingly used you will quickly have her in a very compromised position. (muHAHAHAHA) *Evil laugh.
  • Save her from a man-eating dragon and don’t ever let her find out it doesn’t eat women (let alone annoying mothers!)- This is probably the most difficult task to do considering the fact dragons don’t really exist. But would you rather sit at home listening to your mother? Ya….start looking.
  • Try doing something nice for her.- I know, I know. This is going to make her want to see you more and she will probably start “speaking” to you more often but there is a bright side: She cooks more and might even become a great “loan” officer! (individual results may vary.)
  •  Buy her something nice.- Resort to this tactic preferably when you have the money. Your mother really isn’t your first priority if your still reading this list. Sorry to break that newsflash to you.
  • Date a girl she hates then dump her.- This is probably the most involved, energy draining option you have, but can be effective. Just make sure your ex doesn’t end up having a vendetta against you…it sucks trust me.
  • Find out your mother’s worst fear have her experience that fear and come in just in time to save her!- You are very mean if you do this. But it will definitely be hilarious to watch. Lol!
  • Have the mob whack her.- Just know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows yet another guy. Eventually I’m sure you’ll be connected. (They charge by the pound though. Just FYI)
  • Forge a note from the doctor stating you’re dying from a rare disease that will speed up more quickly every time your mother speaks to you.-This option really kills two birds with one stone. If she keeps annoying you she obviously doesn’t love you.
  • IF none of these options have worked for you yet the last and FINAL suggestion I will list here is: Accept the fact that you are a worthless human being and understand that you and your annoying mother deserve each other.

I hope this list has served some purpose if not to educate you on some alternatives you might not have thought of before to deal with your mom, then at least to hurt your sides a little at work.

Remember you only have one mother deal with her wisely! ( And love her…blah blah blah.)

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